♥♥♥ 65 ♥♥♥

Today is my mom's birthday. She would have been 65. I don't know how old she was in that picture, I am guessing 3 or 4. I look at it and can see a bit of Maggie, a bit of Cassie and a bit of Nate, too. I am glad for that.


My mom was great. As a teenager, I probably would have rolled my eyes and been all, whatever, but she really was. I am so thankful that I had the opportunity to be friends with her as well as her daughter. Now that I am a mom, I look back at different things and think, Wow, she was just so good at being a mom.

She loved her family. She took such pride in us, if we had an achievement she would just beam. She was always our biggest cheerleaders, really rooting for us to succeed, and so proud when we did. She was also the first with a hug or comforting word if things didn't work out. And would get angry on our behalf at whatever made us mad/sad.

She loved books and reading, she worked in an elementary school library for at least 10 years. She was technically an aide, as she didn't have the college degree, but she ran that library better than anyone...knew where everything was, knew which books the kids would like, and loved doing story times.

She loved movies that were so bad they were funny. She loved Elvis. She had quite a collection of Elvis records, and even got to see him at one of his last shows. She bought my Aunt tickets, under the condition that she take my mom and that my Aunt drove into Providence. (My mom wasn't a fan of driving, especially on the highway. She could find back roads to anywhere.)

So the day of the Elvis concert, my mom was out running errands before the show. Well, Uncle Ralph was a police officer, and knew that my mom and Aunt Barbara had the concert that evening. So he sees her out driving, and to be funny, pulls her over. (I can only imagine how horrified my mom was to be stopped by a cop!) He gets out of the car with his sunglasses and hat on. Well, when she realized that it was my uncle, she got so mad she just drove away! (I wonder what people who saw thought!) "Oh that Ralph" she would say-all mad, when the story was retold.

She loved to laugh, and I was usually good at making her laugh. She would only ride on ferris wheels with me, apparently my shaking the cart to tease her helped ease her fears.

I miss her immensely. I think of her every single day. I wish I had her wisdom and patience. I wish she were here, giving me an 'atta girl' and loving my kids. I think she would have enjoyed them to bits. I hope so.

Happy Birthday, mom.

Comforting

I call the rocking chair in Nate's room my thinking chair. It sometimes takes him a while to fall asleep, and I get a lot of thinking time (if I don't fall asleep, too!)

The night before last, he was taking a long time to get to sleep. As he was nursing I was thinking about my mom and my aunt. I miss them so very much. Lots of memories, lots of 'I wish'.

Well, all of a sudden, in the midst of this, Nate stopped nursing and sat up in my lap so he was looking right at me. He stared at me with his big eyes open wide, for at least a minute and a half. Then snuggled back down and started nursing again.

It was strange, yet comforting in a way. Hard to describe.

In this picture he had just finished some cinnamon toast. " I like it, Mama, I like it"

"Atta Girl"

Today is my Mom's birthday. She would have been 64. Sometimes it doesn't seem as though it has been 8 years since she passed away. So much has happened since then. So many things I would have loved sharing with her. She was a fabulous cheerleader, always giving an 'atta girl' when something good happened.

I was fortunate in that not only was she my mom, she was my friend, too. I only hope that I can be as good a mother to my children as she was to me. Her patience, and wisdom. My late teenage years were 'challenging', and I had a very stubborn independant streak. My mom was relentless, though, in keeping her heart in my life. For that, I am thankful. We got through the 'challenging' times, and we became friends. For that, too, I am thankful.

None of us knew how sick she was the summer of my wedding. She had frequent bouts with pneumonia, but we didn't think much of it. About a year before she died, she was diagnosed with emphysema, but convinced us all it was 'fine'. The day after my wedding, she was admitted to the hospital and eventually diagnosed with Stage 4 Lung Cancer. She had a softball sized tumor that was wrapped around her heart. She died 3 months after, November 11th.

I miss her immensely.