Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Conflicted

I am feeling very conflicted about weaning Nate. Lino had mentioned that he thinks we should start. Nate's dentist thinks I need to. It was strongly suggested at my OB appointment I had recently.

I nursed Maggie and Cassie from the day they were born, March 2003, until Christmas Eve 2005. 33 months. When they had their last 'mama drinks', we were down to just the before bed nursing sessions, and it was just getting to be too much. It was 24 days before Nate was born. ( it really was painful for me to nurse while pregnant.)

It started to get really bad at around 5 or 6 months pregnant, I would be in tears sometimes, and that just isn't good. I had initially hoped to let the girls self wean, but I also wasn't going to nurse 3 kids at once! So, we told them that once Santa came, they were really big girls, and big girls didn't need to do mama drinks any more. (We tried not to put too much emphasis on Nate getting to do drinks, other than he was a baby and needed too, we didn't want them to resent him)

He has nursed like a champ. He is not ready at all to wean. He is 2 1/2 this month. I have tried to limit nursing. It is very rare that he nurses in public anymore. I have even tried to start cutting out the during the day times, which for the most part he doesn't notice, but there are times when he won't hear of it. He cries and I feel so badly about it.

After all, he is still so little. He is our last baby. It is still a huge source of comfort for him. For the most part, it is a source of comfort for me, too.

Yet, I do feel touched out- a lot. There are some days when I just want to say "Hands off: No touching!"

He doesn't sleep through the night. He is getting there, there are some nights when he will, though I still wake up and then worry that he isn't up. I haven't really had a consistent good nights sleep since the day before Maggie and Cassie were born!

At my OB appointment, the nurse practitioner person seemed to be pro breastfeeding, however suggested that I stop. One reason is so I can get a baseline mammogram done. The other reason is that I have struggled with anxiety/depression (since after the girls were born) and she is reluctant to (won't) prescribe anything while I am nursing.

Nate has some issues with his top front teeth. They are extremely soft, and he has some cavities that have worn down two of his teeth. His dentist thinks I should stop nursing. (So, I feel as though I am the reason his teeth are the way they are right now....guilt is fantastic)

I just don't know. I definitely feel as though we can use the same theory about when Santa comes, he is a big boy now and big boys don't do mama drinks. He will be about the same age as the girls were, I think he will comprehend it.

The other day I was sitting down and Nate wanted to get up on my lap (to do drinks), and I tried to keep him off, No drinks right now buddy. He cried and looked at me and said in such a sad little voice "I just want to snuggy Mama" I felt awful!!! Of course you can snuggy, buddy! Which soon turned into a nursing session.....

We just got him a twin bed, and will be moving him from his crib soon, so maybe that will help with the transition.

If not, Christmas isn't that far away, right?

4 comments:

Doreen said...

Well, I can tell you what worked for us with Kaylee. She needed a little help, lol. Night weaning really helped cut down the nursing sessions during the daytime, too. I'd just go in at night and tell her nursies are all gone at night, and we can only have them during the day. The first 2 or 3 nights were rough, I'd just sit and pat her back, but she did do some screaming (like, she was mad more than anything). Once she realized she wasn't going to get anything, nights went a lot better. We got to the point where we were down to nursing only in the mornings (when she'd crawl in bed with us), at naptime, and at bedtime. After a while we cut out naptime, but that was pretty easy, because she wasn't napping consistently anymore, anyway. Morning and bedtime were the last to go. I'd just lay down with her one evening and told her nursies were all gone, but I'd lay there with her until she went to sleep. She accepted that. She kind of just stopped asking in the mornings, too. So while I definitely had to encourage weaning, she was pretty okay with it. She was 2.5 at the time, and I was definitely ready for her to be done. I don't know, if it gets to the point where you start to feel resentful, then it's probably time to encourage weaning, or at least cut out some nursing sessions. Though some kids are just more persistent than others. A friend of mine had a weaning party for her daughter when she was 4. They had a happy weaning day cake and everything. The daughter still asks occasionally (and she's 5 now, it's been a year!), but my friend just reminds her that they had a weaning party and nursies are all gone now. Don't know that 2.5 is quite old enough to understand that, though, and you probably wouldn't want to do that until he's down to only nursing a couple times a day. Just some ideas, I'll let you know if I think of anything else. It's definitely an emotional time, for both sides involved!

Dawn said...

I'm getting there with Alex, too. My problem is that he's allergic to cow's milk, and since my milk came in for Aidan, Alex is FINALLY putting on weight again, after being underweight. I don't let him nurse a ton of times a day--morning and night and maybe once more--but then he tells me how much he loves milk. He'll be three in October, and I've heard from a few that he'll be calling me from first grade to come in for snack time! Oh, not funny!

Leia said...

Oh sweetie....I'm so sorry. It sucks when these things don't work out the way we thought. What does your gut tell you? I think you truly have enough signs to give you your answer.

Let's look at the positive - look what a wonderful gift you've given Nate! All kids should be so lucky to have such a dedicated mommy!!! Aside from his teeth, he sounds like the picture of health. Way to go!

As someone who has been on depression meds, you know when you need to do it! I didn't want to go on them originally, because we wanted to TTC, but I knew I wouldn't do so well pregnant if my mind hadn't had a chance to heal!

Whatever you decide, know that there are many of us out here to support your decision and help you along the way!

HUGS!

Jeannie said...

Thanks ladies.

It is just so hard. I am def. trying to limit the during the day sessions. WE are setting up his big boy bed sometime this week, so maybe that will help.

I do think though, that we will end up going to Christmas eve so we can use the Santa/big boy reason. I think he will understand it better.....